The Gift You Want
For many of us, the winter holiday season is often a time for connecting with distant friends and family. Our family celebrates Christmas each year, creating opportunities to connect with grandparents and cousins, fostering our own traditions, and celebrating another year’s journey. For those of us wired for all things shiny, the holiday season can also mean chaos, increased overwhelm, anxiety of depression OR so many opportunities for exciting new adventures, overspending, and joyful , novel experiences.
Today, we are connected with so many messages of perfection and amazingness that it is hard not to “should” all over ourselves. It is hard to catch ourselves in the craziness of doing “all the things” and instead take time out just to BE in the moment. So, how do we, as a society, avoid getting lost in the “shoulds” and keeping up with the Joneses? A pragmatist might simply say, “Easy! Just say no.” I would argue that in an ever-connected world that it is easier said than done.
It is the need for connection that drives us. You may have heard the saying that “your presence is your gift”. In an increasingly disconnected world, how do we craft the closeness and intimacy we both crave and need as human beings? It truly is a gift. As my handsome husband and I began pondering Christmas this year, we landed on “being present” as the theme of the Barrett Christmas 2019.
Our challenge this year, in a family full of college students, was finding a way to create space for us to share experiences together. So, this year our nuclear family unit of five is using our ADHD superpowers of creativity and out-of-the-box thinking to foster true connection... amidst a little good old fashioned competition to up the dopamine receptors.
Along the same lines as this year’s International Conference on ADHD, we are creating shared experiences and hopefully a few laughs along the way. We are fortunate. No one has any dire needs this year. So, my beloved husband created an invitation that looks something like this:
All,
In an attempt to shake things up this Xmas, we are running a family contest that we expect/hope will result in a memorable Xmas and, more importantly (whether you realize it now or not), provide us all an opportunity to get what we all need most in life, real family time. The Committee feels that regardless of the contest results (rankings), all events (good or bad) will be worth every minute.
Please review/process the following information and let the Committee know if you have any questions. Keep in mind, while these events (and all that is involved) are important, they are not as important as your schoolwork. Please prioritize your time accordingly.
Let the best event win!
Regards,
Committee Janitor
There is even a rubric for this, requiring each of us to utilize executive function skills to conceive of, plan, coordinate, and execute our family event. TO add in a reward feature, prizes/gifts will be awarded on Xmas based on rankings. Rankings are based on the following criteria:
cost
family interaction
overall experience
physical activity
educational opportunity
time
creativity
miscellaneous (Committee discretion - aka, “Dad’s choice”)
The good news? EVERYONE is on board and amped for this challenge. We are playing upon the novelty, play, interest, competition, and urgency of it all. Bring on the dopamine, because this holiday we aim to light up those synapse connections! More importantly, bring on the family interaction! We are all super excited to find 5 separate opportunities to be led on a new adventure by our little family unit. Let the games begin!